To the Lady who Inspires Me

Last night I finished my work in the call center and picked up my phone. I scrolled through my contacts until I found the one I was looking for and made a call. She answered after a few rings, and within moments we were lost in deep conversation, as we are prone to do. We talked for two and a half hours, and by the time I was forced to say goodbye due to my phones battery life, we had cried together and laughed together.

Right before I moved to Minnesota, this friend and I got together for a "one last," before we both went our separate ways. She was actually moving to another state a couple of days before I would be, and we were both excited. We were ready to follow our dreams and start this new phase in life. There was fire in our hearts and hope in our eyes and we were ready to take on the world. Until last night, this was the last time that I had a true conversation with her. We've sent a couple of texts, commented back and fourth on Facebook, the usual for long distance friends, but hadn't yet picked up the phone to really talk. I value and cherish this woman incredibly, and she continually inspires me to keep pressing forward through the hardship and trials. She's amazing.

The fun part is, we used to hate each other. When she first started at the job where we met, for some reason, I honestly have no idea why, we just couldn't stand each other. For the first couple months I would groan every time I realized I would have to work a shift with her. We really just couldn't stand each other. That all changed when a mutual friend of ours and I decided to go out for the night and she randomly invited this friend. I told myself to get over it and enjoy myself anyway and I did. Now I consider her to be one of my best friends.

Where am I going with this post? I honestly have no idea, which is probably one of the worst mistakes I can make as a writer, to start a project and not know what the end game is. Let me stop and evaluate my thoughts here, let me try and figure out what it is I want to share with you other then the fact that my friend is important to me.

Okay, here we go. I guess, the reason I wanted to write to you, what's been on my heart since last night when I said goodbye, would be the value of true friendship. I have people in my life that I know will always be there for me and God has sent into my life to help me walk through hardships and struggles. He has given me the kind of friends that I don't really talk to for months, but when I finally do connect with them, we are able to talk for hours.

Be genuine with the people in your life. Almost everyone in this day and age has trust issues, but lay your heart on the line every now and then. Take a step back and stop thinking about yourself, give the other person a chance. Get over yourself for just a second and be upfront and real. Show them who you really are. There's a small chance, just a small one, they'll become a lifelong friend who bless you in more ways then you are able to count. 

With Love,
Trishelle

Goodbye to Arthur

Here I am again, returned from Spring Break awhile ago, and into the full swing of life here at BGU. This last weekend we had our Campus Preview Weekend. We have a great host of prospective students come and stay with us so they can get a feel for what life on campus is all about. It's fun and exciting because you get to meet so many new people who have the same calling to missions as yourself. However, for introverts such as myself, it can also be exhausting. After two days of life back to usual, I'm just now starting to feel like myself again.

If you received my newsletter, you may have read about what happened with my car over Spring Break. If you did not receive my newsletter and would like to, you can add yourself to the mailing list  right here, right now.

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If you did not hear about what happened to my car, let me sum it up for you rather quickly. There was an unfortunate accident, and, well, you can see for yourself. My poor baby didn't fare so well. 

After several calls and discussions with insurance, they announced that it was a total loss. I cried. I cried a lot. I don't cry very often, but when I heard they couldn't fix my car I really, really cried. I loved my car. It wasn't just a set of wheels and a gas tank, his name was Arthur, and he was my partner in crime. We had some great adventures. 

I cried even more when I found out I would not be seeing any of the insurance money. While it was fully covered, I still owed money on the vehicle. This now meant I would no longer have my Ol' Faithful, but I would be completely without a car. 

If you are somewhat familiar with me, and who I am, in general, as a person, you may have noticed that I have a fairly strong independent streak that runs right through the center of my heart. I'm what some people might call a free-spirit, an adventurer, and I don't really need you to do my exploring. In fact, I really like doing it on my own. It's not that I don't like you, but going on adventures by myself is how I destress. It's a huge part of how I refocus my brain and keep myself moving in the right direction. 

Here's the thing though, when I decided to follow God and come to Minnesota, I gave Him one condition. "As long as I have a car. As long as I'll be able to keep my freedom." He didn't really have much to say in return, but I was able to get my car and happily headed off to the freezing tundra. 

God saw things I wasn't willing to recognize though. He saw a wall I'd placed around my heart, and He saw pride. Pride in a hunk of metal and four tires. He saw a girl who was willing to give it all... except for her "freedom." He saw this, and He knew that she would never be able to live the life He'd called her too if it wasn't addressed. Sometimes God speaks in a gentle whisper, reminding you of who He is, and what He would like to see from you. Sometimes, a car comes from nowhere and smacks your pride and joy, leaving it useless and forcing you take a step back and reexamine yourself.

I realized I needed to stop holding the idea of who I am in my car. My freedom and independence, my free-spirit, my solitary expeditious ways, that wasn't what mattered. What mattered was that I was holding all of that one level above the call I have in my life. I had conditions that needed to be filled in order for me to obey.

So, now I'm trusting Him to provide transportation. It has been a struggle for me, to ask other people for a ride, when I'm the one who is generally able to offer the rides. It's been a struggle to not be able to grab my keys and just go. It's been a struggle when I feel trapped in one spot. I'm struggling guys, but at the same time, I'm learning that my identity isn't within what car I drive, or where that car can take me. It's in what Jesus Christ did for me on calvary and how far this story of true love can take me. 

With Love, 

Trishelle

Montessori

Tonight I will be on Oregon ground, once again. Praise the Lord for Spring Break.

Anyway, I wanted to show you these videos. I've just finished my two week elective Montessori class. It has only confirmed how I've felt about education since I was old enough to have an opinion about it. Give your children the chance to flourish. Put them at the center of their education, not the teacher or the system, telling them they aren't at the right level.

Let your children follow their passions. They'll go so much further then you ever imagined.

With Love,

Trishelle

The Hardest Part

When I was preparing to leave for Minnesota, I had several people tell me to prepare for struggles. I was thankful for their warnings and advice, but see, here's the thing, they warned me against the wrong kind of struggles. They told me "it will be hard when you're sad because your friends won't be there to support you." They said, "your battle with depression will become more intense because you won't be around people you're comfortable with." They said, "when life doesn't go as planned, you won't be able to call the people you depend on to bail you out." 

I knew I would face struggles, and yes, I have, but not those ones. My friends have been there when I'm sad. Maybe not in person, but a cell phone is a wonderful thing and I know my support team is only a text or a call away. If one doesn't pick up, I can always call the next one. To be honest, my depression has almost vanished. It's amazing what seeking the Lord can do in your life. When once I felt lost and hopeless, now I feel fulfilled and more joyful then I have in years. I've had rough days, but nowhere near what I used to go through. As far as life not going as planned, I've made new friends. They will never take the places of those back home, but I'm sure they are just as capable of picking up an exhausted, emotional girl from the side of the road. When I find out for sure, I'll let you know, but I'm really not worried about it.

What nobody actually said before I left was "you'll want to cry when you can't be there for them." 

When I get a text telling me things have gone wrong, loved ones are in pain, doctors are involved, jobs may be lost. I want to cry. I want to cry because while I may not actually be able to do anything if I were there, I would at least be there, not 1,800 miles away just working on homework.

People told me it would be great, to have a fresh start. They acted like I would be set free, no longer having to worry about my near and dears. They were blind. When you love someone, you want to be close to them. You want to stand by their side and make sure they're getting the best care possible. You want to be able to hold them when they cry out in pain because if they have to be in pain, at least you've got them. They were blind to what love is. 

At this point, all I can say is, the Lord is teaching me the power of prayer. I may not be able to stand present in times of need, but God is always present and He hears my cries of protection over those I love and miss. 

With Love,
Trishelle

Please, Please, Let Me Love You

We, Americans, live in a culture where people are always rising to defend others. They want society to know that it's okay if you love cats, and it's okay if you love dogs. It's okay if you like to bike, or snowboard, or skateboard. It's okay if you like black, but if you like yellow, that's alright too. Introvert, or extrovert? Both are good. Do you like to stay inside and read, are you a geek, or a nerd? It's all good. Some of us are vegetarians, and some of us like steak. Don't worry, both of you are accepted. Do you like the cold, or thrive in the sun? Whichever you choose is excellent. Coffee is good, but tea is good too. Muslim, hindu, atheist, agnostic, buddhist, you're all okay.

I am a christian. 

That's not okay.

I get it, I really do. I've been hurt by people who have claimed that title as well. I've seen their hypocritical ways. I've watched them tear people down. I've heard them lie through their teeth. I know. 

Please, please, let me tell you. They are not christians. The meaning of christian is "to be Christ-like," and even if you don't believe the Bible was truly inspired by God, you at least know that Jesus Christ was known as a good man. A kind man. A loving man. A man who cared for others more than he cared for himself. Here's the thing, and please stay with me, I could spend all day telling you I'm a fish, but when you look at me you don't see scales. You don't see gills. You don't see fins. No matter how much I tell you I'm a fish, you won't believe me, even if I'm convinced of it myself; that's not what you see. Don't you think there are people who can knock on your door and say the word christian, and be wrong?

We're a culture of not setting stereotypes, and yet for years I have feared stepping forward and saying the words "I am a christian." I was afraid, because I knew I would be put into a category I didn't want to be a part of. I didn't want to be seen as the one who brings the Bible to you and proceeds to force it down your throat. I didn't want you to see me as the one who would turn away from you because you did something the Bible teaches against. I didn't want to be seen as someone of judgement, instead of someone with love. 

Here I am, begging you, do not put me in that box with the other "christians" who have hurt you. Let me love you. Let me walk beside you and show you what the word Christian really means. When I fall, recognize that it's not because I have a Bible, but because I forgot to open it. When you ask me for advice, or my opinion, expect real and honest answers, but know that even if it's not the answer you wanted, I still love you. I am still here for you. I still care about you, even if I don't agree with you. If you want to know why, I will gladly tell you, but be prepared to hear the answer.

I love you, because Christ loves me. 

With Love,
Trishelle

Journal Entry; 2-19-2016

What if you suddenly changed?
     What if all at once your world turned upside down, and what if it wasn't in the bad way, but the way that made you want to run around and tell everyone? To the point that they thought you were completely crazy, but that's okay because you already know you're acting like someone who has gone completely insane.
     Like you're drunk on something wonderful; because you've been drunk on hard liquor before and it's never been beautiful.
     You're running around like a lunatic, but it's okay because you know you've found your home. Not home like, where mama cooks supper on Sunday nights, no, this is a comfort so deep it was born into you. Like cherokee blood, or your daddy's small ears.
     It's always been apart of you, but you had no idea till someone told you.
     You are home; and as you fall into the warm embrace of overwhelming love, it's as if a switch has been flipped. The light has come on and you now realize you've been here all along. Here, in the arms of your Father.

With Love,
Trishelle

Life Update

This is going to be a quick update on my life thus far at Bethany Global University. Quick because I have several homework assignments I need to be working on; but while homework is important, so my dear readers, are you. I may get busy, but I do want to keep you all in the loop, so here we go.

Today we did not have class. It was Day Set Apart. This is a day that we have once a semester. The campus puts everything on hold, and pauses to praise and worship God. We spent a lot of time in prayer, lifting our school and all the mission outreaches we are partnering with, in prayer. It was peaceful for me. To be able to take the time they gave us today, and simply praise my Heavenly Father.

Call Center Team

On the normal days, you can find me either in the classroom, chugging tea and frantically scribbling notes; or in the call center. Every student is given a practical training assignment when they start at BGU. That's pretty much just an on campus job, it has several purposes, but the main ones are as follows...

1. They don't have to hire and pay people to do the things students can do. They take our pay out of our tuition. This is one of the reasons why BGU is able to be a tuition-paid school. 
2. You are able to start learning how to serve, right here on campus. Sometimes you're assigned a PT assignment that you really didn't want, but guess what, sometimes you have to do things you don't want to do. 

My practical training assignment is to be an admissions counselor in the call center. (Yep, I'm that one random person you don't know who just keeps calling) When I got here, it was the one place I knew I would be the most uncomfortable in and of course, this is where I was assigned. Funny part, I never told anyone that being a caller is what would grow me the most. God just knows these things.

Minnehaha Falls

God knew I would grow, but He also knew I would be blessed. The people I work with in that office are some of the most amazing women I've ever met. They're brave. They're funny. They're passionate. They're tenacious. They're the kind of people I want to do life with.

Also, special shout out to Silvia. My amazing boss and friend back home. Her training in sales and business gave me an amazing base to launch off of in the call center. Thanks for teaching me those life skills lady!

Otherwise, I've been plugging away at homework, co-teaching a bible class to a bunch of kids every Wednesday night, and going on random adventures. Sometimes that include scrambling down frozen staircases to crawl into the jaws of a frozen waterfall (yay, Minnesota), or visiting coffee shops that have pictures of goats on the wall.

I would make this a little longer and give you all more details, but I've put off my worldview's papers long enough. I'm writing one on Moralistic Therapeutic Deism, and the other on Phoebe Buffay who is lovable and adorable, but also overwhelmingly New Age. Should be fun.

Love and miss everyone back home.  I miss Smith Rock and its beautiful red face. I miss my coffee shops, and being a nanny. I miss the girls I used to work with at Gymboree, and I miss the Old Mill. I miss my Costco people, and I miss going out with friends to talk about life. I miss so much, but I'm happy.

With Love,
Trishelle